How Can I Get Someone To Listen To Me And Take My Concerns Seriously?

A mother's fight to protect her child from gender ideology.

The New York City Public School system is programming children to accept radical gender ideology. “Transgender and gender expansive youth use different words to describe their lives and experiences,” reads the NYC Dept. of Education website. “Some examples include: trans, transgender, genderqueer, non-binary, gender fluid, two-spirit, trans boy, and trans girl.”

According to the NYC Dept. of Education’s Guidelines to Support Transgender and Gender Expansive Students, the school’s job is to affirm every student’s chosen gender identity. This may include supporting students who have chosen to adopt different gendered pronouns, a name change, or a “formal gender transition at school.” In some cases, “transgender and gender-expansive students begin their transition at school without a parent’s knowledge.”

Queer Theory is sweeping through public and private schools nationwide. Under the guise of “affirmation” and “inclusiveness,” this Critical and postmodern theory argues that gender is a social construction used by dominant and “normal” culture to oppress and marginalize any child who doens’t fit the cis-hetero norm. In practice, Queer Theory is a mechanism for hollowing out all categories of meaning. Boys and girls are nothing more than “sexed bodies,” women are “menstruators,” and both men and women “have penises.”

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In January of 2022, the mother of an NYC child raised the alarm about the rapid advances of Queer Theory in her child’s school. “How can I get someone to listen to me and take my concerns seriously,” she writes. “Our family has been harmed by gender ideology and pornography in schools, leading to three hospitalizations and a suicide attempt. Transition was not therapeutic and yet everywhere we turn, there is more propaganda pushing our children towards transition. There are no resources on detransition. Why is this?”

This mother - we’ll call her Allison - has a child that identifies as trans. Allison believes her kid has been groomed into autoandrophilia - a dysphoric condition in which a female becomes sexually aroused at the thought of becoming a man - by school policies and resources. Specifically, Allison discovered that the NYC Public School system’s student Health Education training and Social-Emotional Learning programs were packed with Queer Theory. So was the school library.

Allison wrote to the school to see if she could speak to anyone that might alleviate her concerns. She included the links and resources in question and pictures from a book she found in her child’s school library - Gender Queer.

I apologize for the disturbing, pornographic content. I am only trying to protect my children from harmful sexual and gender grooming. I am especially concerned about the mixing of the two (gender and kink) and encouraging autoandrophilia in vulnerable young girls who may feel the same kinds of distress about their changing bodies.

Gender Queer is a graphic novel that depicts a child undergoing a gender transition from female to male. Rather than describing it, I’ve chosen to show you to leave no room for interpretation.

WARNING: GRAPHIC CONTENT. NSFW.

Allison’s communication was “lost” because the email address on the Health Education page was “no longer being used.” After more than a month, administrators rerouted Allison to the Manager of LGBTQ+ programs, who defended the use of Queer Theory and Gender Queer in NYC schools.

In reference to your message about the lack of DOE resources on de-transitioning young kids, the reason is because the subject of medical transitions is outside the purview of the Department of Education. As DOE employees, we do not advise students to change their bodies in any way. We don't distribute resources on HRT or surgical options to students. That is a conversation for medical providers to have with families. The gender identity conversations we have with students are grounded in social emotional learning. We foster the understanding that transgender people are PEOPLE and deserve the same respect that every student deserves. We teach them that every person has a gender identity, and that some people's gender identity differs from the sex they were assigned at birth. We share the experiences of transgender folks to foster empathy and understanding, so that school communities will be safe and affirming for all students. I ask that any future emails do not include photos of youth with botched top-surgery scars or other disturbing images, as those are extremely triggering.

On the one hand, Allison was told that “every person has a gender identity” that the schools must affirm. This affirmation includes using Queer Theory to teach children about sexuality. On the other hand, administrators told Allison that the school doesn’t provide de-transitioning or gender dysphoria resources because that’s a discussion for “medical providers” to have with families. (It’s also considered transphobic to offer such resources)

This creates a catastrophic trap - one where children are programmed to “deconstruct” gender and sex, hollow out their identity, and are then left to themselves to pick up the pieces. In other words - NYC Schools are creating conditions that maximalize poor mental and physical health outcomes, leaving no off-ramp for students other than seeking hormone therapy and surgery. The schools use Social Emotional Learning and Health Education to create a gender crisis in children.

Undeterred by the nonchalant reply she received, Allison responded to the NYC Manager of LGBTQ+ Programs with the strength every parent must have when confronting those that would destabilize the minds of their children.

You say you do not tell children to take hormones or drugs. However, when we socially transition children, we prevent the normal resolution of very typical adolescent dysphoria. When we do this without parental permission or consent, it is administering affirmative therapy without our consent. It is harmful to our children. It is not ok. I am VERY CONCERNED that you don't know even the most basic nomenclature of the trans and detrans/desistance experience. That is criminal negligence that is harming children like mine. Please educate yourself. Do not make parents like me acquire a PhD-level education to navigate our children safely through our government schools This is inequitable and unjust. Kids with fewer resources will not be able to protect themselves. They will be manipulated, medicated and sliced away.

Allison filed a FOIL request regarding NYC School gender curriculum in January, 2022. She just learned that her request was delayed until July.

Let’s all be like Allison. Contact your school and ask about Social Emotional Learning, health education, and “Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion” initiatives. These programs often lead to poor outcomes for all children, but for those truly struggling with gender dysphoria, these programs can lead to permanent damage. All kids deserve better.